Thursday, January 28, 2010

The Crapper Chronicles

I was so busy worrying about my Wii yesterday-
(and how I was going to hide the evidence of
an abused and beaten husband)-
that I forgot to wish all of you a happy
Thomas Crapper Day!

We sure do owe a lot to this guy.
Or do we?

Before you start waving your toilet tissue flag
and saluting him with your plunger,
it might be a good idea
to get the real story behind
the "water closet".

History has long given Thomas Crapper
credit for inventing the toilet.
Except- the fact is-
Crapper lived in the 1800's,
and the first toilet was made in 1596
by a man named John Harrington.
(Is that why they call it a John?)

But Mr. Crapper did do his part
in making the toilet a household name.
He was a master plumber in London
and held nine patents for
water closet improvements.

Crapper is credited for the ballcock.
It's that thing inside the tank
that goes up and down
and lets water in and out.

I've seen many.
My husband ran his own plumbing shop
for almost twenty years-
and I spent lots of groggy mornings
helping him load ballcocks
and P-traps and valves
and tees and elbows
all that kind of crap.

I've helped him suck the water out of tanks,
remove the stubborn wax seal from the bottom,
install supply tubes,
closet bolts,
and gaskets
and goop de doop kinda stuff.

But how it's put together
and installed
is really not what matters.

What is important is 2 things:

1. It is available for use
2. It functions correctly

(You might want to read
this past post about that.)

Whether you wad, fold, or roll your tissue-
Read, sing, or quietly contemplate life
while on the stool-
no matter if you have a white, blue,
short, tall or handi-capped version
of this wonderful invention-
I do hope you all had a great
Crapper Day!