Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Walking Tall

I read this morning where a team of Australian women
just ran a hundred meter race in record time
and won 10,000 Australian dollars.

But- there's a catch.
The women all ran in 3-inch stilettos!

First of all, just let me say
that I have never owned a pair of stilettos.

Other than the fact that they might
make you appear taller,
have shapelier legs,
and drive your husband crazy-
they are basically worthless.

Except for maybe:

1. hammering a nail into the wall

2. prying the lid off a manhole

3. squishing a spider

4. impaling a mouse

5. playing galloping horsey

6. reaching the top shelf

7. looking ridiculously like an obese giraffe

8. a jousting tournament

9. home defense

10. home demolition

11. whack-a-mole

12. deflating balloons

13. a doorstop

14.Halloween costume

15. to freak out your mother-in-law

16. a meat tenderizer

17. a yard aerator

18. a hand plow

19. a play dough tool

20. to drink champagne from

21. to stand out in a group picture

22. to brag about on Facebook

23. as a planter a modern sculpture

25. a toilet paper holder

26. a flower press

27. as book ends

28. to pop bubble wrap

29. knocking out teeth

30. cracking walnuts

Wow! On second thought-
I just might get myself
a pair of stilettos!
They are 30 tools in one!

Who knew?