Monday, April 6, 2009
Wall Street Meets Sesame Street
Wall Street met Sesame Street last week
when it was reported that the popular
public television show was cutting jobs
due to the strained economy.
The following is a personal interview
that I conducted behind the scenes
concerning this disappointing announcement...
It is a hot day on Sesame Street, USA,
but I can feel a chill run up my spine
as, one by one, some of TV's best loved characters
gather around the popular street light
to voice their outrage over the cutbacks.
I asked them all how they were
handling the news.
"Me sad", says Cookie Monster,
"Me not know if me can
find work someplace else.
This my world.
This my life.
This my home.
Me already can't afford cookies.
How me be Cookie Monster without
Grover gently hugs Cookie Monster in a tearful
display of deep friendship and sympathy.
"I've been waiter- I've been Super Grover-
I live with Mommy- but I worry, too", he says in his
It is evident that even Big Bird
feels the stress of possible unemployment
by the unseasonal molting of his once-thick
Instead of his usual perky attitude, Big Bird
stays in the back of the group,
occasionally reassuring his teddy bear Radar
that everything will be OK.
"Kermit The Frog here", the long-legged
amphibian speaks up. "I'll do well, I'm sure.
Everyone is going green nowadays,
so it's easier being green than, let's say,
back in the '70's-
and plus-I now have more time
to look for my Rainbow Connection.
And he breaks out in song:
"Someday we'll find it-
the Rainbow Connection-
The lovers, the dreamers,
"I've alvedy put my vesume in at
a local accounting firm." the Count suddenly
says in his choppy accent.
" I've ven vith Sesame Street for one year,
two year, three year, four year, five year..."
Count Von Count's voice trails off
as Oscar the Grouch pops from his
garbage can, in his typical surly mood,
adding his thoughts to the group.
"No problem." Oscar says, waving a
furry green hand, " I didn't like it here anyway.
Sesame Street sucks!
Me and my pet worm Slimy
are gonna hit the road."
The group shuffles uncomfortably, as a
familiar accent continues to break the
" twenty-two year, twenty-three year ,
twenty-four year ...."
Ernie and Bert look at one another
in despair and encourage the team to
gather for a final Sesame Street song.
"Gloomy day... Can't sweep these clouds away-
On our way to where we'll face defeat...
Can you tell me what to do- what to do-
after Sesame Street?
What to do after Sesame Street?"
Tears well up in their
furry and feathery eyes
as the counting continues:
"twenty-seven year, twenty-eight year...
The lights go dark on 123 Sesame Street.
The music grows silent.
It's a sad day for us all.
Sesame Street, USA.
Just another victim of America's