My mom never really taught
any of us kids to cook.
We gathered what little skills we have
by simply watching over her shoulder
as she fried pork chops to a crisp,
stirred lumpy flour gravy,
or guarded the pressure cooker
so that the stew
wouldn't blow up.
That's why today-
with great pleasure-
I introduce my sister Jewel
as the new reigning
Elks Chili Cook Off Champion!
(Applause).
Congratulations!!!!
Jewel must have watched mom
better than the rest of us.
Of course, that's hard to believe
because Jewel was always
teasing her hair in front of the mirror-
layering on the White Rain
with inches of clear cement protection-
or singing to herself as she
slid on bobby socks
and A-line skirts.
She spent a lot of her down time
chasing us from the house
or ignoring us so completely
that we thought we were actually
invisible.
I remember watching her
polish her canvas tennis shoes white
and spending twenty minutes
getting her stretchy headband
to fit in front of the ratted lump
on her bullet proof hair.
She never had much use for
little sisters then.
But, I've got to say-
she's totally made up for it
since we've all grown up.
Jewel makes everyone feel special.
She goes the extra mile
and volunteers her time
and talent wherever it is needed.
And chili is not her only winning dish!
She's known for her fantastic
cheese balls,
hamburger soup,
goulash,
and casseroles.
In comparison,
I am known for my
ahh..
my...
frozen pizza?
You gotta give her credit
for fine tuning those skills
and becoming Chili Queen.
Can't wait to get a taste of
her delicious recipe!
Congratulations, Sis!
Love you.
When's dinner?
