Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Green, Green, It's Green They Say

When it comes to "going green"
I always seem to see red.

I can't quite wrap my mind
around the fact that some of
these "save the planet" ideas
are really going to make a difference.

And if you are an
environmental nut-
just skip this blog today
because you won't like my opinion.

Like I've said before-
I'm all for cleaning up waste
and waterways.
I think it's great they can
take a aluminum can
and recycle it-
or paper products, too.

But the other day
I read a magazine article
about other little ways
that we can save the Earth.

First of all, they say to never buy
another paper towel.
That they are wasteful.
The experts recommend
using dish cloths and sponges.

That is so opposite of what we've
been taught for years-
that rags and sponges breed
germs and bacteria.
Are we to sacrifice our own
family's health in order
to feel good about going green?

I was in front of a woman
at Goodwill the other day
that was buying a king sized flannel sheet.
She told the cashier that
her daughter was having a baby
and she was making "baby wipes"for her.

She raved about the
money-saving advantages
and also about the favorable
environmental impact.

She said she cuts the soft sheet
material into wipe-sized pieces
and soaks them in a solution of
baby oil and shampoo
(and whatever else)-
and zips them into baggies.

She smiled proudly when she
announced they can be washed
and soaked
and used
again and again.

What I wanted to ask her is
where they store those
urine soaked poopy pads
until laundry day!

I think that's going a little overboard.
Don't you?

I read also
that we should all
save the wax paper liners
in our cereal boxes
and wrap sandwiches in them.


If I sent my husband a sandwich
in his lunch
wrapped in a cereal bag
he would have me committed.

What kind of goony can you be
to resort to such extremes?
And you are mistaken
if you think you're making
a difference on the planet-
when twenty of your closest
neighbors are popping out the
Ziplocs and conveniently
preserving their ham and cheese.

Why not save your cardboard
toilet paper roll
and use it as a cell phone cover?

How about using dryer lint
to knit a jacket?

But, I must tell you this-
the magazine article I read
had some excellent, excellent advise.

It said that if you always
have a stack of magazines
on your coffee table-
save some trees!
Get off the mailing list
and subscription list
and limit your catalogs.

And that
is exactly what I'm gonna do.

For a publication that thought
they were so smart about going green-
they just shot their self
in the head.