Monday, October 20, 2008

Your Memory Wallet

I was reading this morning
where a woman's wallet was found
sixty years after she lost it.
Construction workers found the missing
wallet in the basement of the university
where the woman had attended in the '40's.
It was returned to her family.

This got me to thinking...

What if things in the past
could be returned to us?

And not just material things,
but memories and moments.
Is there a special day in your life
that you'd like to see and feel
and live again?

I can think of several.

I would like to have back
a hot summer day when my sister
Linda and I played Barbie's
in the shade.
I was about eight years old
and she would have been ten.
The grass was cool beneath our legs
and our imaginations were endless.
We had all day to play and laugh
and be ourselves.
I would look at her and say-
"Let's never lose this feeling.
Let's never let problems of
the real world find us."

And I would remember
what it was like to be carefree
and innocent.

I would like to have a day back
before my mother got sick.
A day when she was smiling
and cooking something great-
or hanging clothes on the line-
or laughing at TV.
She would brush my hair for me
as we sat on the couch
and I could smell her
talcum powder
and feel her soft hands.
And I would say,
"Mom, don't ever get old and sick.
Be here for me when my children
and grandchildren need you.
Let them know how wonderful
your love is."

And I would remember what
is was like to have a mother's love-
all warm and perfect.

I'd like to have the day back in high school
where I missed a step in Algebra class
and never again understood
formulas and fractions
and simple equations.
And I would say,
"Slow down and explain that,
Mr. Childers. I think I'm lost."
Then he would make it easy
to figure out.

And I would remember what
it was like to be smart with numbers
and not hate math.

I would like to have back
the day that I met my husband.
I would hold on to every moment
and memorize every word.
I would feel
for the first time in my life,
that sudden stir inside of me-
that electricity-that chemistry...
And I would say to him,
"I am going to marry you
and we are going to be happy forever."
I would relive the first kiss,
the first touch,
the first day we shared.

And I would remember what
it was like
to not be afraid of the future.

I would want the days back
when I gave birth to my children.
Even with the pain, I would want
to experience that awesome feeling
of seeing their beautiful crunched-up faces
for the first time,
of holding them in my arms
with their baby-lotion smell.
Their milky little faces looking up at
me after a feeding...
their perfect fingers and toes
and newborn cries.
And I would say to them,
"I love you, babies of mine.
I will love you forever and ever."

And I would remember how it feels
to know that
little lives depended on me.
And I would remember how
quickly they grow up-
and to make sure to relish the journey.

But, in the scheme of things-
I think we all know
our "memory wallets"
will never be returned.
That they are somewhere
in the basement of our minds
where the contents can
never be touched or felt again.

So, hang on to your wallet.
Spend whatever is in it wisely.
Fill it with lots of photos
and keepsakes
and smiles that will last
through times of tears.
Don't ever let hate or regret
squeeze into the folds.
Treasure it as though
it is full of gold and silver.

But, whatever you put into it,
be proud of it.
That way, if anyone ever finds it,
you will never be embarrassed
by what's revealed.

Tomorrow we will probably
want today back.

Savor the moments.
Look, listen, touch,
taste, and embrace your life.

Think about it.

What's in your memory wallet?