Tuesday, October 7, 2008

These Are A Few of My Favorite Things

Every year Oprah comes out with a list of her favorite things.
In studying that list of 20 wonderful things,
I calculated
that there were only about five of them that "regular" people could afford.
$42 for 3 bars of soap?
$59 for 9 cupcakes?

$3,799 for a state-of-the-art refrigerator?
And, in addition, there were four or five things
that I wouldn't even want.

So, that prompted me to come up with
my own list of favorites.
Today I am giving you my top 10.
Many of my favorites are affordable-
and most you can relate to.

1. Secret Platinum Deodorant: $3.99, Walmart
This product comes in many fragrances and forms.
I prefer the clear-gel baby powder.
This has been the only deodorant that gets rid
of my B.O.
I wish everyone would use it.
Especially the lady behind me in Kroger the other day
who insisted on waving her arms to speak
and who kept leaning toward my ground beef.

2. My Derek Heart Plus sweat pants: $14, Goody's
I found these on a clearance rack and I wear them
almost everyday. ( Not suitable for public viewing, however)
They are capri-length, black, and were size 2X.
After washing them they are now about an XL and fit nice and comfy.
Spaghetti sauce and chocolate ice cream washes out beautifully.
One drawback: They have Alpha Kappa Love plastered down
the left leg in gold lettering.
The only worse thing would have been
Winnie the Pooh.

3. Maxwell House Coffee: $6/2 pounds,all retailers
I have tried the other brands and always come back.
Folgers makes me loony, Starbucks is overpriced,
and off-brands taste like boiled dirt.
There is something so satisfying about sipping a cup
of hot coffee while the snow falls outside.
ADD a shot (or two) of your favorite liquor- and suddenly
the kids, pets, and bill collectors
become almost bearable.
Don't be swayed by fancy flavored coffee.
It never tastes like what it's supposed to.
If you want pumpkin flavored coffee, buy a pumpkin pie
and wash it down with a cup of Maxwell House.
It's good till the last drop.

4. Mini Food Chopper: $5, WalMart
This little gadget was a Christmas gift from Linda
and I love it.
(Forget Oprah's Kitchen Aid mixer for $400.)
This baby does it all!
I fill mine with boiled eggs and chop them
to a creamy texture for deviled eggs.
I make my own relish from pickles and peppers.
I have chopped nuts, onions, tomatoes,
cookies and stale bread.
This should be in every one's kitchen.
And tornado shelters and safety deposit boxes.

5. Glue Sticks:$2/pkg of six, all retailers
This product has been a lifesaver on more than one occasion.
Virtually invisible,the strength of this glue
will amaze you!
I actually wallpapered my old file cabinet by using only
a glue stick. It's been three years and
even the edges are still firmly in place.
Great fix for applying stamps, closing
envelopes, kids projects, and covering
mistakes on paper items.
I keep my glue sticks right next to my
scissors, paper clips, and stapler.
It's one of the family now.
Cheap and indispensable!

6. Oil of Olay, Original: $6.97, Walmart
If I could buy this by the gallon, I certainly would.
Everything else I ever tried on my face broke me out.
This moisturizer is light, great smelling,
and does the job well.
I still look my age, but without it,
I would look 70!
No kidding!
I figure that thirty years worth of
Oil of Olay has saved me thousands
in face lifts and Botox treatments.
I keep it with me always.
(Confidentially, I have smothered it
on my legs and belly with no results.)

7. Country Living Magazine: $19/yr/12 issues;Hearst Pub.
This may seem like a luxury that most frugal gals
would surrender when budget cutting.
However, this magazine is almost therapy for me.
After a long, hard day of whatever crap
I happen to be up against-
escaping into the beautifully photographed pages
and articles of country tidbits is pure relaxation.
Top that lovely magazine off with a frozen margarita,
fuzzy house slippers and a cupcake -
then it's right up there close to heavenly!
Well worth it!
(Note: To be honest, the margarita would have
been my Number One choice, but I didn't
want to sound like a loser.)

8. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation DVD format: $19.99, most retailers
If I could only keep one DVD in my collection, this would be it.
There is something heart warming and real to this
insane comedy.
It makes us look at ourselves and what Christmas really means.
My favorite part is when Chevy Chase is stuck in the attic
and watches the old home movies.
Whenever I hear the song "That Spirit of Christmas" by Ray Charles,
it brings tears to my eyes-
(even if I would happen to be bathing the dog or cleaning up vomit).
I watch this every year and it melts my heart every time.

9. Swiffer Sweeper: less than $10, retailers everywhere
It is hard to believe that I actually have a cleaning tool
on my top ten list.
(However, it s even more bizarre that I actually own one!)
Folks, I do not even own a mop any more!
I use my Swiffer Wet Ones to mop
and the Swiffer dry ones to dust.
It is easy and quick.
(Which we all know is a motto of mine).
This is a big improvement over my last mopping method
which consisted of spraying
the bottom of my socks with Windex
and skating around the kitchen.

10. Caller ID: usually free with package, available through most telephone companies
What a genius that invented this little gem of wonderment!
No more picking up the phone at midnight
to hear some drunk asking for a taxi!
No more listening to a telemarketer give you
a twenty minute speech to sell you a vacation time share!
No more facing creditors, nosy neighbors, politicians
and annoying relatives!
Even if this cost hundreds of dollars,
it would be worth the peace and sanity
that it provides each and every day.
I rank that right up there in my top ten!

So, there you have it, Oprah.
A list of ten things that I personally love
and require to make my life go smoothly.
And they won't break the bank!

(Sorry, readers- there will not be
any surprises waiting under your computer desk
after the blog!)