Friday, October 24, 2008

Whatever Will Be, Will Be...

On a day like today,
I wish I was Martha Stewart.

Even though she's looking
a little worn around the edges-
(and, of course, the little episode
of time in prison)-
I could use her ingenuity
and creative organization today.

I bet she could take these
dozen unattractive packages
of hot dog buns on my counter
and build them into some kind
of awesome sculpture.
Or the numerous bags of chips
into a camouflaged Halloween tower.
Whatever she might do to help
would definitely be
"a good thing".

Then again, on a day like today,
I wish I was a genetic scientist
so I could clone myself.
I need to get so much done
in so little time
that only a Super Octopus
could pull it off in record time.

On a day like today
I wish I was Oprah.
Then I could just hire people
to clean my house,
run errands,
and decorate for this party.

On a day like today,
I wish I was a meteorologist
so I would have a fairly good
idea of what to expect in the
weather department.

Today, I wish I was Rachel Ray,
(I know... you all know I don't like her)-
but to be able to whip up a fantastic
hot meal in 30 minutes
would be heaven sent.

Today I wish I was a famous designer
and then I could pull together
a top notch costume from
fabric scraps and Velcro
and everyone would look at me
and say,

I wish I was a comedian
so that I could
laugh about the whole situation
if it turns out going horribly awry.

Martha Stewart? A Scientist?
Oprah? A meteorologist?
Rachel Ray? A designer?
A comedian?

The thing about Halloween is
you can be all of them!

But today, I have no mask-
no costume,
no facade.
Just a grocery list, a debit card,
and a "Don't get in my way!" attitude.

WalMart- here I come!

NOTE: I will be busy for the
next few days, so I won't be
posting to my blog.
Watch for Party Pictures
on Monday!