I seems strange to me that people
will spend their hard earned money
this time of year,
just to let a bunch of people in masks
scare the poo poo out of them.
Lines flock to the haunted houses,
the spooky corn mazes,
-the wicked woods.
And me-
Well, I find scary things around me
every day and they are free.
Here's the scoop.
Twelve Scary Things:
1. Swiping your debit card for $123.70
when you know perfectly well that you
only have $71.02 in your account.
2. Running out of coffee at 5 a.m.
on a day when you are ready to
kill anyone that looks at you sideways.
3. Stretch pants on strange fat women.
4. Stretch pants on me.
5. Hearing the car make a "ca-chunk"
sound when you are twenty miles from
the nearest town or rest stop.
6. Seeing a mouse getting ready to
run across the room when you've got
company sitting in there.
7. Having your hair done by a girl
with tats, piercings and purple hair.
8. The guy who changes my oil.
9. Planning meals.
10. WalMart on Black Friday.
11. WalMart on Senior Citizen Day.
12. WalMart when you've run out of coffee
at 5 a.m. on a day are ready to kill any one
who looks at you sideways and you
bump into ladies with stretchy pants on
while you're searching for mousetraps
in aisle ten when they are actually in aisle four
and having to go back to the Tire and Lube
because some weirdo is paging you that your
service is completed and your debit card is declined.
So, see folks-
Put away your money.
Just follow me on an average day.
Scary is always free.
