The stores are packed nowadays
with self-help books and
novel-sized instruction booklets
on how to face life's ups and downs.
People pay good money to read
what has been obvious since
I was a kid.
All I ever needed to know
I learned from Trick-or-Treating:
1. Be yourself.
Even with a disguise, people
usually know who you are.
2. Share with those less fortunate.
Don't be selfish.
But give them the black licorice
and hide the chocolate.
3. Dare to be different.
If you feel like being a monster-
then by all means, be one.
But if you feel like being
a sweet, tiny ballerina-
then get some help.
4. Carry a big purse.
Don't carry a quart sized baggie
for gathering a gallon of treats.
It's always better to have too much
room in your bag than not enough.
5. Be alert.
If you run into a vampire in broad daylight-
there's probably something wrong.
Fine tune your senses to detect danger.
6. Vent your feelings.
Your old English teacher probably
deserved those twenty five rolls
of toilet paper, and you'll feel better
having released your inner anger.
7. Clean up after yourself.
Especially when you wear those three layers
of warm costume,
feel your stomach roll,
and don't make it back home in time.
8. Money isn't everything.
Sometimes those rich neighbors
give the crappiest candy
when the poor ones go all out
to see you smile.
9. All things eventually die.
And that pumpkin you carved last week
will probably kick the bucket long before
Halloween.
10. Life is scary.
But you just have to make your way
through the blood-suckers
and the ax-murderers
and the wanna-be's...
and come out a better person
with a giant sack of happy.
Have a great Halloween!
Hope you learn something!
