Wednesday, March 25, 2009

I Hope You Dance

While tackling my messy closet
the other day,
I ran across a few old journals
that I had tucked away amid
the Beatles albums
and baby books.

Wiping their dusty covers,
I immediately sat down on the floor
and explored the diaries
of a life I had almost forgotten.

That is one wonderful thing
about keeping your thoughts on paper.
They never disappear.

Even discovering entries
of a time when I was angry
or depressed
(or a little touched in the head :)-
doesn't embarrass me anymore.

Each and every day
has made me who I am.

And every day that follows
will make me
who I will become.
Life is work in progress.

Reading my past-
curled up on the cold floor
amid coat hangers
and cardboard boxes-
I realize that I took too much for granted.
And I took life way too seriously.

What bothered me back then
were problems that
ironed themselves out with time.
I worried about being
a good mother
and now I have good children to prove
that I was successful.
I worried about paying my bills
and now I am lucky enough
to stay on top off them.
I worried about being a good wife
and now we are celebrating
our 34th year.

If we only look at the bad things,
the good things are obscured.
If we keep wishing for tomorrow-
today will be lost.

We are breathing.

That is magic.
That is miracle enough to rejoice.

While reading through the notebooks,
I suddenly felt like I was in a giant hourglass
and the years of sand
had dumped themselves on me all at once.

I drowned in the sorrow of having
misspent so many days.

So, today- take heed.
Un-clutter your life.
Don't forget to
and capture every moment.

That is surely my greatest sin.

That is indeed my only regret.