Thursday, February 4, 2010

You Might Think It's Funny, But It's Snot

I've been nursing a cold the
past few days and this morning
it seems to have worsened.

There is nothing more discouraging
than climbing out of bed-
only to look toward the day ahead
to a time when you can
crawl back in.

One foot hit the floor
and I was wondering
what time I could fit
a good sized nap into my day.

I spent all night coughing.
You know-
that weird tickle-
like feathers or bugs
skating in your throat.

And then came the
sinus headache-
like a giant vise
pressing your cranium
till it feels it could burst.

And, where on earth
does all that snot come from?!

I was half expecting
my cheeks to cave in
or my belly to disappear.
Where does all that stuff hide?
One-hundred fifty-two tissues later,
and it's still flowing like a green oil well.

I keep imagining some little elf guys
sitting up my nose-
happily making the slimy stuff-
just to irritate me.

(And then I think to myself...
If I've got to have little guys
up my nose-
why can't they be making cookies?)

Of course, it's not a real cold
until you have the chills.
My sweater is on.
On again.
Off again.

I'm hungry, but I'm not.
I want to eat -
but nothing sounds good.

Or tastes good.

But ...then I think that if I
could possibly get dressed
and make it to the car,
across town,
and into the grocery store-
I could infect everyone there
while selecting a
giant pasta salad
with feta and olives.

But, on second thought,
pasta salad might be too slimy-
too familiar of a texture-
and not exactly the flavor
I want to keep coughing up all day.

So nix that idea.

In my experience,
the only thing you can really
do for a cold,
is wear socks,
watch TV,
sip juice,
nap frequently
and feel sorry for yourself.

Wait just a minute....
Isn't that just like
my everyday routine?