Tuesday, February 16, 2010

The People of WalMart

I'm sure by now you've all
received an email about-
or checked out for yourself
the "People of WalMart."

If not, let me entertain you.

we've all laughed, snickered,
vomited and rolled our eyes
and shouted, "OMG !!!"
at the myriad of weirdos
that visit our local Wally World.

I had a good time
sifting through the pages of
and rednecks.
I've stared in amazement at
bad fashion,
white trash
and the grossly absurd.

But, at some moment-
amid all those unacceptable people,
I saw me.

Or what I could be.

Somehow I was saved.

What's the secret?
What makes some people
avoid the frosted jeans,
banana clips and '80's hairstyles-
and makes others
don frostier jeans,
bigger bananas
and rattier hair?

What separates a man who
wears leopard wife-beater shirts,
high-top, pump-up tennis shoes,
short-shorts and headbands,-
from the men who have great style?

Why weren't those people taught
not to show their butts, boobs, boogers-
and yesterdays burger on their shirt?
What planet were they living on
when pajamas, bikinis, and trash bags
became acceptable attire for a trip to the grocery?

Do they not own mirrors?
Intervening friends?
Do they not understand
the difference between the good-
and the bad and ugly?

Maybe I'm being too hard on them.

There have been times
I've worn my fuzzy striped socks
with my generic Ugg boots to WalMart.
Times I've rolled my unwashed hair
into a silly hat,
hid my bra-less body
under baggy sweatshirts,
and settled for yesterdays jeans
straight off the bedroom floor.

I've gone to WalMart
like a ghost-
with no makeup
or mascara or blush.
With an unacceptable jacket,
worn out shoes,
and morning breath.
I've flashed ugly purses,
too-tight pants,
too-baggy tops-
and a cough that would rock a concert.

There are all kinds of people
in this big old world.

Some go about their way quietly.

Others entertain us with their
brassy and unbelievable behavior.

Those kinds of people
come from far away planets
to our world.

Wally World.

Look funny. Live bolder.