Monday, November 3, 2008

Photoshop Fantasies


Everyone that has ever used a computer
has probably heard of the software by Adobe
called Photoshop.
This is a program which allows the user
to edit, paint, wrap, format, convert, draw,
layer and trace various graphics and photos.

Actually it's the type of program
that editors use on magazine covers
to make you think Oprah is a size 12.

Just a little eraser here, a shadow there,
a color change and a stretch-
and Wallah! a 285 pound talk show host
is transformed into a beautiful model.

This got me thinking.
What if we could Photoshop our lives?
What if- with the simple click of a mouse-
we could manipulate objects and people
to become our ideal vision of them?

I think I might start out by
Photoshopping my house in a few weeks.

I would decorate the outside with all types
of gorgeous Christmas lights
and huge pine wreaths
and eight realistic reindeer.

And while I was at it-
I'd pave the driveway,
omit the fallen leaves,
and throw in a pretty good snowman.

I'd edit the contents of my fridge
to include already cooked items
and yummy things such as shrimp, crab legs,
and giant, tender filet mignon.

I'd fix the cracks in the tile,
the scuffs on the floor,
erase the cobwebs and dust
and add some extra lighting
over the sink.

Imagine what you could do to
your closets!
Not only rid them of unsightly
and unneeded boxes and bags
and bad choices-
but also fill them with new,
fashionable and
sized-right clothing!

Dog need a trim?
Just Photoshop that extra fur
right off!
Walls need a coat of paint?
Try several variations!

Super-size the TV,
add a sun room,
create a fireplace,
and import into the picture
any friends or family
that you'd like to entertain.

Photoshop would get rid
of soap scum,
dirty laundry,
irritating neighbors
and pesky insects.

And-yes!
What wonder of wonders
we could do to our own bodies!
Our faces! Oh, Glory be!
Our double chins could be one again!
Our butts could be smaller!
(And higher!)
Instant boob jobs and hair styles!
Just imagine....


But-
since the whole Photoshop dream
isn't very realistic,
I guess I will be thankful for
everything that I do have.

And realize that there are others
with unsightly homes,
and empty fridges,
(and clothes from the eighties :).

Be thankful that I have loving children
and a great husband
and a dog that no longer pees on the rug.

That I have luxuries such as television,
and the internet,
running hot and cold water,
and a guy that picks up my trash every Tuesday.
Thankful that I have family
and friends
and only two chins!

But once in awhile, we all have
a Photoshop fantasy.

What's yours?


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