Thursday, November 20, 2008

The Last Donut

No matter how strong we may seem to be,
there comes a point in everyone's life
when we must ask for help.

Perhaps it's getting your son to clean the gutters,
your husband to fix the faucet,
or your daughter to prepare a meal.
Usually it all works out without a hitch.

But, there are also the times
when no amount of family help will do.
These are times when we go through emotional turmoil.
Times when we need to make a conscious decision
about struggles in our life.

Everyday I feel as though I am struggling
with trying to diet and exercise and be healthy.
Each morning I awake with the promise to myself
that today will be different-
that I will begin to walk the road
to a better well-being and a healthier lifestyle.

Obstacles appear right away, however.
Next to the coffee pot is a package of hot chocolate,
there is last night's leftover lasagna in the fridge,
and someone
left a single donut in the Krispy Kreme box.

Now, when I see that donut, I know it is time
to call in a higher power.
I pray like crazy.

"Please lead me not into temptation.
Help me be strong.
Guide me to the carrots and celery
and whatever else is in the vegetable crisper that
I never pay much attention to."

I know that God does not want me to be fat.
I know that my body is considered a temple
and slowly my square footage is beginning
to roll over the foundation.

I know that God wants me to live a long and healthy life
with my family and friends.
I know that God wants to see me succeed.

But, I also know God
left the donut there
as a true test.

I can usually share without a problem.
I give my husband that last steak in the freezer,
the only clean towel, the best banana in the bunch,
the coziest seat in the house, and the remote control.

But if I have to make the decision to leave that
single donut for someone else to enjoy-
I will be selfish.
If I can't eat it right then-
I will hide it for later.
My theory is
that if they left the donut in the first place
they didn't want it very badly anyway.

And I do.

Yet, I try to remember to ask for guidance
and strength and self-control.
I try to think of that donut
as a gooey moist ring
of bad drugs.

I would never use drugs.
Changing my view of the donut
from something I crave
to something I fear-
sometimes helps.

I do have big dreams
of regaining a youthful body,
muscles, a real neck.
And I honestly feel that I cannot
possibly do it on my own.

I know God is watching that last donut.
And today...
I'm gonna make him proud.