Friday, September 26, 2008

Time- Friend and Foe

Time can be a wonderful thing when you're anticipating the future.

It can transport you quickly
to the vacation you've been waiting for-
the day your baby gets potty trained,
and it can take you
to the season you like best.

Time can be the vehicle
to get you to the next pay check,
the next morning-
the next dream.

But time can also rob you
of some of the most priceless
treasures in your life.

Sometimes I forget
how beautiful my sister Barbara really was.

Time has faded the outline of her face-
the sound of her voice-
the touch of her tender hand.
How is it that when I think of her,
I cannot remember her clearly?
And that- along with the heartache-
comes a blur of days we spent together?

Everyone in the world
would like to have a friend like Barb.
She was never critical, always giving-
her laughter and positive outlook
was infectious-
you couldn't help but giggle when she giggled
or smile when she smiled.
Her soft voice like a calming light
amid the whirl of the world.

When I was little, she was my protector-
the big sister that I shared a twin bed with.
She was my comfort when the Boogie Man
made an appearance at the foot of the bed
or my baby brothers drove me to insanity.

I will never forget the day she came home
from her honeymoon.
I hid behind a tree as her and her new husband
drove into the drive.
I was filled with such a feeling of betrayal-
that she had left me behind to love this
tall, silly man.
How dare she!
How in the world could she move into
another house- another world?

There were a lot of years lost after that.
I grew up
and we grew away from each other.

And when we finally re-connected,
we were both grown women-
sisters who understood the importance of time.

We knew it had a way of melting our lives.

Time was the one thing we had too much of.
Too much time had made us older
and more cynical-
grayer and fatter.

But,in the end
she did
not have enough...

Though it is sometimes difficult to see,
I try to imagine her sitting in her
favorite green chair-
her stubby legs propped up
as she watches soap operas-
surrounded by her beloved teddy bears
and sentimental trinkets-

I can almost see her laughing again
till she loses her breath
and rolls into a bundle of vibrating happiness.

I see her in her colorful printed Capri's
and costume jewelry-
complete with comfortable house slippers
and her little red purse.

And if I reach really, really deep
into the memories of my heart,
I still can hear
her soothing voice.

I think she would say-
"Laugh more.
Worry Less.
Be yourself.

Embrace time-
tackle it to the ground
and inhale every precious moment."

We miss you, Barb.