Tuesday, August 19, 2008

True Colors

Today I am going to share with all of you some very important, scientific information that may prove vital in a future situation.
It's amazing what psychologists and other brainy people can come up with
given enough leisure time and money.

A marketing research company based in Oregon recently conducted a survey in which asked 1900 Americans about their attitudes toward their lives at various points over the course of a year.
They also asked each of them what color car they drove most often.
From this, the researchers developed a color-confidence index.

See where you fit into their little chart:
These are the car colors and confidence levels: Emerald green 5.5% above average, Dark blue 3.2% above average, Silver 1.2% above average, White Average, Sunny yellow 3.7% below average, Orange 4.1% below average, Bright yellow 8.3% below average, Red 8.8 % below average, Black 14.6% below average.

I guess you could say I have improved my well-being and mental health over the years.
I graduated from a black car to a white one.
But as things stand now, I have no desire for
a 5.5% improvement on my part.
I just don't feel the love when it comes to emerald green vehicles.
But after reading this little index, by golly, I am considering a flashy black or dark blue model in order to boost my confidence.

Why spend time on the good doctor's couch, being hypnotized, drugged, therapy-induced, and evaluated, when all you need to do is change the color of your car?
So simple....

But there's more. The marketing firm also concluded the following:
These are the car colors and the moods their owners experience: Black, dark blue, or silver- Consistent moods. White, sunny yellow, or bright blue - Modest mood swings. Orange, red, bright yellow, or emerald green - The most pronounced mood swings.

Now there's something I bet your mama never told you when you were searching for a mate.
The guy may be a real nerd, but if he drives a dark blue Gremlin-
hey, snatch that guy up real quick before some other gal
gets a hold of this eye-opening confidence index.
And please, for your own good - steer clear of hunk in the red Mercedes!

You know, if I was sitting around my Marketing Research office trying to find a way to spend loads of government funding and private grants, I think I'd come up with a better project.

I think the world needs a Candy Bar chart.
Your mood could be matched to your ideal bar choice:
Nutty? Snickers.
Barely hungry? A thin little Hershey bar.
Ravenous? A six pound Milky Way.
Stressed ? All of the above.

You know, I'd even be willing to be the test model !