Saturday, August 2, 2008

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy!!

It's no secret that I finally got a new cell phone! Yippee!

Why is it that such a trivial thing can be so exciting sometimes?

I suppose it's like getting new shoes.
You feel great when you first wear them and you go around hoping everyone else will notice.
You prop them nonchalantly on the copy machine at work, you display them neatly on a soft, fluffy rug in the foyer,
or you purposely stick them in the aisle at church when the congregation files in.

I've haven't put my new cell phone into its little case yet.

It's way too beautiful to hide away in the confines of my slovenly purse.
I hold it in my hand like a delicate handkerchief, checking it every minute or so for new messages, hoping it will ring so that everyone in Kroger will turn around and look at me and I can say, " Yep... got me a new cell phone..."

Of course,setting the phone up for the first time was a thousand times worse than learning how to set the clock on the VCR.
There are more buttons than a button factory and more options than a college curriculum! The instruction booklet is as thick as an Atlas and as complicated as chemistry.

But somehow, after two grueling hours in my recliner, eating pretzels, pushing buttons and watching Oprah, I managed to make my first call.

"Erin?", I said into the phone, "It's Mom."
"Yeah- what's going on?" she replied.

"What do you mean, What's going on?" I stammered. "Don't you remember today is the day I get my new cell phone?
I'm talking to you on it this very moment!", I announced proudly.

"Sorry, but I'm working right now, Mom. I'll call you back later.I'm glad you got your phone," she said hurriedly,deflating my happiness.
"Call my cell phone, not the house phone," I reminded her, hoping to finally hear the new ring tone I had selected.

Then I called my daughter Becca.
"Hey, it's me!" I giggled unashamed.
"Got your new cell phone, didn't you?" she guessed in a dry, monotone voice.

"Can I bring it over to show you?' I asked excitedly.

"Mom", she whispered sweetly, "It's not a new puppy."
Then her tone suddenly changed- "It's a freakin' cell phone, for heaven's sake!"

I made dozens of calls- to my sisters and brothers and in-laws and friends and aunts and cousins and old acquaintances.

"Hi there, it's me!" I told an old friend.

"Who?" she asked, failing to guess after a dozen angry tries.

"You know, it's Rae. You taught me in first grade." I declared.


After a few hours and several of my shared minutes later, I called my son Jake who was just getting out of school.
"Guess what I'm doing?" I asked him.

"Probably talking on your new cell phone, right?" he speculated.

"How on Earth did you know?" I questioned, almost surprised at his telepathy.

"Mom, you've been talking about it for months. You've circled the date on every calendar you own, put up giant Post-it notes on the fridge, car and bathroom mirror, and e-mailed me the Free Phones website ten times!" he reminded me.

So, the kids weren't thrilled.

I think it's just that they don't want to see their Mom finally reaching technical sophistication.