"I'm going for a run", I told my husband yesterday, pulling on my tennis shoes at the breakfast table.
He almost choked on his Bran Flakes.
"What? he slobbered, milk running down the sides of his mouth.
"For a minute there, I thought you said you were going for a run."
Then he laughed that really evil laugh of his.
I ignored his bad sense of humor and adjusted my sweat band.
"Well, Mr. Smarty Pants", I said, attempting an impossible toe touch," I am officially in training."
He laughed again.
"Well, from here it looks like Elephant Circus Training," he teased.
"Stop it!" I warned him, pulling myself up from the floor by crawling to the nearest piece of solid furniture.
"For your information, my sisters and I are in training for the Labor Day weekend events," I puffed, already breathless.
He just kept laughing and shaking his head.
And he was still laughing as my sisters arrived.
He was even laughing as we huddled over our clipboard, adjusted our headsets and checked our water bottles.
"Got your cell phone?' he said, suddenly seeming concerned.
"Yes," my sisters and I all said in unison.
"Well, hope you got 9-1-1 on speed dial!" he shouted after us, still laughing, as we jogged down the driveway.
************
My sisters and I are in training for the 61 Mile Yard Sale taking place in late August. It's crucial that we be in shape for the event.
We must be able to carry large loads, such as: cookbooks, stereo speakers, end tables and blenders.
We must be primed to dig, riffle and, (if it comes down to it- fight), for a bargain.
Our eyesight must be keen - our senses alert - for hidden treasures, buried knick-knacks (and an occasional Porta-Potty).
We must be quick, sly, and thrifty in our quest. Therefore, we must train to tweak our endurance, speed, and agility.
We must also equip ourselves for the expedition.
Lip gloss, bottled water, hand sanitizer, tape measure, maps, snacks, calculator and sun screen.
Our yard sale uniforms must be cool and comfortable.
Our shoes must be flexible, durable, and easy on the feet.
Our money must be in all denominations from hundreds to ones, with available change from quarters to pennies.
We need hats, pockets, purses, and bags...
************
This morning I woke up at four a.m. to loud music playing in family room.
I recognized it as the Theme from Rocky.
My husband smiled as he appeared at the foot of the bed, wearing a coaches whistle and a damp towel around his neck.
"Rise and Shine, my little Butter Bean- rise and shine!" he laughed uncontrollably.
He was still laughing when I came home with a severe sunburn, a twisted ankle, and three blisters.
But, I will not be discouraged or disheartened.
I will persevere.
I will be ready for 61 miles-
and beyond!
