Friday, May 7, 2010

How The Cookie Monster Crumbles

Originally posted in my "Finding Thin" Blog

Wednesday, March 11, 2009...

As I wrote on my other blog today,
the Girl Scouts celebrate their
birthday tomorrow.

It commemorates the day in 1912
when the founder, Juliette Gordon Low,
registered the first 18 members
and formed what is now known
as The Girl Scouts of the USA.

I am sure these girls are loyal,
true, and practice acts of kindness-
-but in my mind-
they are no more innocent than
McDonald's when it comes to
enticing people to "super size".

I mean, have you ever
ordered just one box of cookies
from them?

It is the shear volume
of these crunchy sweet treats
that make them so attractive.

Place a single Thin Mint on a plate,
and you have nothing.
Place five boxes of Thin Mints
on your plate
and you have supper!

But, believe me-
there's nothing thin about them!

These girls are pushers.
Plain and simple.

They even attack us in our homes-
ringing doorbells
and knocking knockers
and coming around to the back yard
where we are hiding in the azaleas.

One look at their little green sash
and their full-color cookie brochure-
and we've committed ourselves
to a huge diet dilemma.

The only way to avoid
seeing those seductive Samoas
and the tantalizing Tagalongs
is to "Just say no!"

Sure, the little brats might
run home crying-
their mothers might ban you
from the block party-
your house might get egged
and TP'd,
but, hey-
you're gonna be thinner because of it!

That, my friends,
is one giant secret of diet success-
DON'T let it into your house.
DON'T feed the monster.
DON'T tempt evil.

Just look the other way-
and-oh, yeah...
hide somewhere better
than those stupid bushes!