It is with a twinge of sadness that I write today. Yet, you and I both know this was coming. I guess I might as well just come out and say it.
It's over. We can't see each other anymore.
I remember the days before I met you. I was a productive citizen. My fridge was clean. I showered every morning. I enjoyed the outdoors.
Then I met you. You were young and attractive and always exciting. I never knew from day to day what to expect. You kept me coming back for more and I was hooked.
You brought me hidden gifts, jewels, special videos and favorite songs. You shared photos and invitations and thought-provoking quotes. You opened doors to new friends, exotic places and great people. It was fun to experiment and watch our relationship bloom.
I felt badly at first. I didn't know how to love you back. My posts were immature and generic. My photos, unorganized and blurry. I embraced all your friends without hesitation and began to crave your total attention.
I would seek you out every morning before my shower. And sometimes -still be gazing at you when noon came. I let the dishes go, the laundry pile up, the seasons pass without an utter thought to their beauty.
It was like going to the mailbox every ten minutes -all day long-to see if I had gotten a letter.
Most times you didn't disappoint me. There was usually some notice- a message- a communication.
But, other times- there was nothing. You were silent and cold and indifferent to my needs.
By early spring, I began to question my obsession with you. You began to bore me, ignore me, cause me sleeplessness. You would occasionally malfunction, repeat yourself, and seldom changed things up.
I was tired of your Farm and your pretty bouquets and gifts of lost kitties. I hated that you had turned me into a stalker- a pitiful, pajama-clad woman with no clue. I resented the fact that you smothered me- kept stringing me on- but, yet, insisted that we were "just friends".
I just can't live this way any longer.
I know I'll miss the social parties, the life-changing announcements, the funny photos and the profound and theoretical things you shared with me.
But, believe it or not, I have another life. One that doesn't include you.
It's a life of clean carpets and hot meals and no bath tub rings. It's an afternoon of fresh air, laughing with my family, reading a book, and daily prayers. It's a life of reality. Of purpose. Of knowing that you do not have to be the nucleus of my world.
It's been a whirlwind relationship- reckless and impulsive. But, I learned a lot. I grew. I developed a better understanding of my own strengths and expectations.
For a while.
But because of you, I've become weak. Lackadaisical. Dependent and undependable.
Oh, don't get me wrong. I enjoyed it while it lasted, but it's time to move on. I'm sure you will find lots of other friends to feed your ego. I'm almost positive that you really won't even miss me.
Thank you for introducing me to your world. I will never forget you.
But,this is goodbye, my friend. Other worlds await me.