Thursday, June 18, 2009

The One-Eyed Weirdo

When I wrote about Superman last week,
my sister Linda asked me to let her know
when Popeye week came around.

Well, that little freak is having
his very own celebration in Chester, IL
in September.

We all remember Popeye
as the spinach-eating sailor.
But here's a few things about Popeye
that you may not know:

Popeye is 34 years old and was
born in a typhoon off Santa Monica, California.

Popeye has a speech impediment which
causes his "t's" to become "k's".
( the word fist becomes fisk,
becomes infink, etc.)

His"goilfriend" of 77 years has been Olive Oyl.
She's flat chested and has a pickle-shaped nose.
Her original measurements
were 19-19-19.

Olive's former boyfriend was Ham Gravy.

Sweet Pea was adopted after being
delivered in the mail.
(Though some cartoons say the child
was Olive's cousin).

Popeye has one missing eye, one blue eye,
two anchor tattoos, thinning red hair,
and smokes a corncob pipe.

(He lost his right eye in
"the mo's arful battle" of his life.)

His chest goes from 30 inch to
60 inch when he eats his spinach.

He weights 156 and has an
8 inch neck.

Popeye's boat was named
The Olive.

Popeye's look-alike nephews
are named Peepeye, Pupeye,
Pipeye and Poopeye.

Wimpy's real name was
J. Wellington Wimpy.

Popeye never tried to impress.
He always claimed,
"I yam what I yam."

He would never hit a woman.

He liked to go swimmin'
with bow-legged women.
(See- I told you he was a freak!)

Let's face it, if Popeye were
a real person in today's society,
he could either be an outcast
or a Hollywood celebrity.

So, Linda, if you want to
know more about Popeye,
visit Chester in September.

I'm finished writing about
the one-eyed weirdo.

"It's all I can stands- and I can't stands no more!"