Friday, May 8, 2009

PO'ed at TP

Every time I go to the store lately.
I seem to spend more and more money.
It seems the consumer has gotten
the brunt of this economic downfall.

I try to convince myself that it's
okay to pay $8 a pound for deli ham-
or $13 a pound for good steak.
I rationalize it all by comparing
my store bought, home made meal
with the cost of a similar
restaurant meal.

But folks-
One thing that I cannot rationalize
(or accept)-
is the cost of toilet paper!

At least a piece of meat
will provide me with vitamins,
satisfaction for my stomach,
and dinner conversation.

Toilet paper seems
like such a waste.

Yet, without it-
we are hygienically disabled.

Before toilet tissue was invented
there were a great variety
of things that were used -
wool, hemp, lace, leaves,
grass, hay, stones,
sand, moss, water,
snow, ferns, seashells
and corn cobs.

Then along came Joseph Gayetty.
In 1857, he marketed the first
commercially available toilet paper.
It was named Gayetty's Medicated Paper
and consisted of pre-moistened flat sheets
that were medicated with aloe.

It wasn't until 1880 that they
came out with the rolled and perforated
tissue we know today.

Now we have too many choices.
One ply, two ply, three ply.
Double roll, single roll, triple roll.
Organic, all natural,
basic, and recycled.
Aloe, perfumed, unscented
and lotioned.
Quilted, textured,
and cottony soft.

In a sea of toilet tissue options,
I usually find myself
going for the bargain.

It's just a shame that the bargain brand
always seems to have bits
of wood pulp exposed
and is more uncomfortable than
wiping with sand paper.

The average American uses
about 24 rolls a year.


How come when I buy a 24 pack
for a family of three-
it's gone in month!?

I guess I should be thankful
for the modern conveniences
even if it means paying a
premium price.

And if you are willing to pay
$8.95 for a single roll,
you can enjoy this in your

Gives a whole new meaning to
kiss my......
well- you know.