Friday, May 1, 2009

Dolly Dearest

While surfing the net
for possible job openings,
I ran across a profession that
to me seems like
the perfect job.

How about becoming a
member of the DDA?

The Doll Doctors of America.

For $15 a year, your dues
pay for a membership card,
the Doll RX newsletter,
and access to all the other
Twice a year they all meet
to discuss their "patients"
and to obtain new parts.

You could own your own business!

What could be so hard
about operating on a doll?

No blood,
personal attachments.

Recovery time
would be instant,
bed space would be minimal,
and you wouldn't have
to have a cafeteria
in your doll hospital.

I figure the only employee
you might have to hire
is a doll nurse
to hold the glue
or to clean the special saw blade
used for plastics,
or to keep you from playing
house when you should be
operating or diagnosing.

Inventory wouldn't be much.
An assortment of eyeballs,
and appendages.
shoe replacements,
and little lipstick.

What a virtual money maker!
Every doll gets a broken arm,
or fried hair,
or ink markings
in its lifetime.

Every doll has had its share
of bumps, bruises,
toxic tea parties
and torture.

And what a comfort it would be
to know that you have brought
these little fake people to life again!
That your dedication and
artistic endeavor
would be appreciated
by doll and owner alike.

If you are really good
you could even specialize-
Be a Barbie Doctor,
A G.I.Joe Surgeon,
or a Teddy Bear Physician.
The possibilities are endless!

Believe it or not,
there are Doll Doctors
that specialize in
cosmetic surgery
and virtual makeovers.

Some Doll Doctors not only
fix your doll, but they
also provide a variety of
shoes and outfits for
your purchasing pleasure.

The only downside
to this whole wonderful idea
is that on average,
a Doll Doctor earns less
than $25,000 a year.

One Doll Doctor I found
does the following:

Services provided at Childhood Doll Repair and Restoration include:

  • Re-stringing

  • Cleaning of hard plastic dolls, bisque dolls, composition dolls & cloth dolls

  • Repair or replace and sculpt missing fingers, toes, etc

  • Styling of mussed up wigs

  • Spot repair or whole body repair if needed

  • Wig repair, and replacement

  • Setting of eyes, readjusting eyes or replacement of eyes

  • Eyelash replacement

  • Repair of cracks /lifting in composition dolls

  • Custom made outfits for your doll

  • Doll clothes laundry care

I wonder if I could make
an appointment for myself!