Monday, July 21, 2008

Two Sides of One Story: An unbiased interview

With the heat of summer upon us, the favorite past time of my grown kids and husband is a float trip. They drift dreamily into a happy place whenever they remember summers on the river. Why is it that the four of them remember so differently than I do? I still dig my heels in and refuse to go anymore. Wanna know why?

Here's THEIR story of our last float trip in bold.
MY side of the story is in italics...

"It was a perfect summer day with a soft fragrant breeze- a mixture of suntan oil and mimosa. The river was clear, blue, and warm- with just enough current to make the float trip lazy and relaxing. Our inner tubes were over sized and firm as we set off down the beautiful river."

"It was so freakin' hot that day that I was sweating like a pig! The water smelled like dead fish and was the color of chocolate milk. It was flowing so fast that it was sweeping cows downstream. The inner tubes we rented were tiny lifesaver- sized donuts and I feared they would all deflate immediately as the river swallowed us up into its fury."

"Mom was wearing a turtleneck tee shirt a pair of long pants and was stuffed into a double thick life vest to her double thick chin. She had on the ugliest water shoes we had ever seen in our lives! She sat on her inner tube like a frozen statue, fearing to move as we all splashed and played around her. It was so great to be one with nature! We saw a small water snake sunning on a rock and a little water turtle. We relaxed. laid back, and had a few beers."

"I wore sufficient clothing to keep from burning and the most wonderful water shoes I've ever worn. They were really cute. I was a little concerned because my life vest was barely as thick as Saran Wrap- a thin little thing that seemed destined to suffocate me. We came across a giant water moccasin that tried to attack our tubes and a huge snapping turtle that was eating small water birds! Lot of good my kids and husband were if I had needed help- they were already drunk and practically drowning themselves!"

"It was a quiet float trip that lasted about three hours. What a perfect day! We all got a nice bronze tan and had some great laughs. We ran eagerly on shore, suddenly hungry for cheeseburgers. But poor old Mom crawled slowly onto the river bank and collapsed."

"The whole ordeal was like riding the white water rapids. What's worse is- the trip lasted 6 or 7 hours! We were all blistered and burnt and could barely stand after being plugged into those tubes so long! When we finally reached shore, I realized how truly lucky I was to have survived. I fell to my knees and kissed the ground."

That's both sides and it's up to you who you want to believe. I just know how I remember it and needless to say -I won't be floating on the river this summer!