IN A PERFECT WORLD....
Toilet paper rolls replace themselves.
Money grows on trees and chocolate grows on bushes.
Kids automatically grow wise and leave the nest on their 18th birthday.
Fat can be removed as easily as fake nails.
A "couple" or "lovers" always means a man and a woman.
Houses clean themselves.
All the politicians in power have been fired and we've started a new slate.
Every child grows up knowing how to swim, drive, and balance a check book.
You can pick who your neighbors are and how far away you want them to live.
Grass grows only an inch a season.
Cold weather makes you younger.
Once you find a great haircut, you can keep it forever. (like your fingerprints)
Christmas is free.
They make perfect bed pillows, comfortable shoes, ideal purses, and bras that actually fit!
Teeth fix themselves.
Everyone is a perfect driver.
Criminals, slime balls, and loud mouths live on another planet.
Lightning bugs come in 64 brilliant colors.