Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Batter Up!

I'm sure there are lots of people out there
hopping to their nearest IHOP today.
In celebration of over 50 years of service-
and to honor Pancake Day-
IHOP is offering free pancakes
in exchange for a donation to
the Children's Miracle Network.

I've never understood the attraction of IHOP.
Their pancakes are regular pancakes
that any person with a spoon and spatula-
(and years of practice)-
can stir up.

It's all those great looking toppings
that make them so desirable.
The fruit and whipped cream
and nuts and syrups...

I do admit it took me a while to
perfect my pancake cooking skills.
(They are still hit and miss).
I either have my skillet too cold
or too hot-
My batter is too thin
or too thick-
and the pancakes themselves
are as thin as butterfly wings
or as thick as the phone book.

As with all my early cooking attempts,
consistency was not my forte'.

And my question is-
Why is breakfast the hardest meal
to cook?

Think about it-
Breakfast people are picky
about their bacon-
their sausage-
their gravy and their biscuits.
They crave a certain type of coffee-
their eggs fried just right-
and demand a variety of jelly.

Breakfast people are like old dogs-
-set in their ways.

I can almost bet that every old man
in the breakfast cafe this morning
is reading the paper
and eating his eggs
the very same way
that he's enjoyed them for seventy years.

I can kinda understand that.
I don't want my eggs too runny
or my bacon to rubbery.
I request my sausage well done,
but my biscuits undercooked.
I want my coffee hot,
but not boiled
and my hash browns crispy,
not greasy.

And then there's the subject of pancakes.

Well, I've burned a lot in the quest
for the perfect circle
of Hungry Jack excellence.
I've taken tips from Aunt Jemima
and Betty Crocker
and Martha White.
And I will admit
that my pancakes still don't
stack up.
(Get it? Stack up. Ha. Ha.)

So, I just continue to visit
Cracker Barrel when I have
the pancake urge.
Their pecan pancakes are
to die for!

Plus, their bacon and sausage
ad biscuits and eggs
and jelly and coffee
and hash brown casserole
are always served correctly.

Ooops...I've suddenly realized
that I've become
one of those old dogs.