Monday, January 26, 2009

Winter Woes

I was perfectly fine with the idea
that we might just have a mild winter.

I was ready to have spring
pop up right around the corner.
I have even made reading the seed catalogs
an every day ritual.
I was ready to pick out new tulip bulbs,
a great assortment of tomato plants,
and occasionally toyed with the idea
of planting giant jack-o-lanterns.

But the Winter Storm Warnings
issued for tonight
will certainly bury my dreams
beneath the predicted 3 to 5
inches of snow.

Yet, they say that snow shoeing
is great exercise,
that snow boarding can be thrilling,
and that cross country skiing
can be learned by children as young as two.

I even ran across a website today
that encourages "snowplay"
with your family.
It is basically any activity that
takes place in the snow,
including the age-old traditions of building snow men,
erecting igloos, and having snowball fights.

So, if the meteorologists are right,
I guess I better be ready for some outdoor fun!

I have my thermal long johns on.
I put on a giant coat, woolly sweater, old hoodie,
insulated gloves, sheepskin hat, ear muffs,
triple thick socks, Gortex boots,
sweat pants, blue jeans, face mask,
fleece scarf, Chap Stick, furry hand muff,
feet warming packets,
and I have hot chocolate
all laid out in anticipation.

But, come to think of it,
I don't have a sled.
Or snowshoes.
Or skis.
Or a snowboard.
Or a snow mobile.
I don't have anyone here to build snowmen with,
toss snowballs at,
or any help stacking igloo blocks.

Besides that,
I can't move in all this garb.

Crap.

Guess I'll go back to bed.