The experts say that a person should
maintain a clean and organized home-
not only for themselves-
but for those left behind.
They say to consider the burden
you may put on your children
by having accumulated an access
of unneeded possessions.
I can see the point.
I imagine a situation in my minds eye-
(that little video daydream thing I do sometimes)-
I see my children having the task of cleaning my house
when I am no longer here to object ...
(Or having too much fun playing Bingo to care)!
So, here are some guidelines to help them
in their huge endeavor:
1. Don't ask me why I have deer glands in the freezer.
2. The little black crispy thing in the blue envelope
is one of you guy's umbilical chord.
3. Any old baby teeth you find belong to the first born-
or our first dog.
4. Don't throw out the iron lady I got at a yard sale for $2.
Antique Road Show says she's worth at least $400.
5. Don't move the little stool by the dryer. It's holding up
the ironing board which is holding up the shelf which is
holding up all my cleaning supplies.
6. Don't believe everything you read in my diaries.
7. Don't ask me why I still have a "Maxi" coat.
8. The two black trash bags in the back closet are
junk drawers that were dumped but never sorted.
9. That furry negligee is not mine.
10. Don't fight over the silver. There isn't any.
11, The droopy brown thing in the front window
is a fern.
12. Don't ask me why I saved 50 empty Skoal cans
and a gallon jug of bottle caps.
13. The giant white package in the very bottom of the
freezer is the Easter ham bone from 2002.
14. I don't know where I got that ruffly pink blouse
with the shoulder pads.
15. You can throw out the phone book from 1984.
I feel so much better now.