Thursday, December 17, 2009

Mini-Moments From A Mighty Mission

Sometimes it's the little things
that you remember most.                                  

Not huge earth-shaking moments-
but small sparks of big smiles...
Tiny brain videos
that fade in and out
for the rest of your life.

Shopping was not on my list yesterday,
but somehow it appeared there-
Right smack-dab at the top.
Realizing suddenly
that Christmas is next week,
I decided that perhaps it was time
to finally strap on some shoes
(and a bra)-
and venture out into the huge
Mall World.

My daughter Erin drove,
which was good for me
because I was in one of those
nappy moods.

She was my eyes and ears for the day.
You know-
for those tiny price tags
and overlooked bargains
and big red fire trucks siren-ing up
behind us in traffic.
(The kids make fun of my eyesight
and my hearing-
why couldn't I have developed
a weakened sense of taste instead?)

Our first stop was Michael's craft store.
(I love this place better than Zale's
or Sephora or Pizza Hut!)
We spent two hours in there,
pouring over craft items
and yarn
and colorful scrap booking embellishments.

I imagined myself sitting down
to create a wonderful painting,
an awesome bracelet,
a seasonal centerpiece
and delicate chocolates.

This is truly the "wanna be" store.

I wonder how much of that crap
gets thrown into the trash
after succumbing to the realization
that there are no creative bones whatsoever
in your disappointed body.

We decided to invite Cindy
(my future daughter-in-law)
to meet us for lunch.
Erin was driving,
so my job was to keep texting Cindy
for arrangements.

For one thing, I can't text.
Secondly, my typing really sucks.
So, right there you have a
huge ball of stupid ready to happen.

It doesn't help that Erin
has one of those new Droids
that weigh a ton
and has the touch screen.

"We. jestleft Targettt." I typed.

" Thisiss Mom." I added, as if she couldn't
figure that one out for herself.

Cindy replied "hahaha"-
which- if you know Cindy-
it makes you laugh just knowing
that she is laughing.

For some reason, the typing screen
disappeared back up into the phone
and Erin told me just to
slide my finger down the screen
and it would come back.

I tried.
Didn't work.
Tried again.

"Mom!" Erin screamed,
finally stopping in traffic and
looking my direction.
"You don't have to rub it like
you're rubbing a genie's lamp!"

I cracked up.
I couldn't stop laughing.

I guess I was trying too hard-
and showing my age.
Heck- why didn't we just call Cindy?
I still know how to speak!

After lunch at Casa,
Cindy joined us for some
coat shopping.
Erin has been on a Mighty Mission
to find the perfect coat.

And I've been dreading it.

Because I remember Erin's
Mighty Mission to find
the perfect prom dress.

And the perfect purse...

And the perfect pair of boots...

A person could starve,
fall asleep,
and totally go insane
during Erin's Mighty Missions!

It didn't help that she chose to wear
a pull-over hoodie that morning.
It was bulky and unattractive
(under the 326 coats she tried on).
And I was getting tired.

One coat was a bit small
and her hoodie-hood was trapped down inside,
making her the most malformed
Igor/Hunchback of Notre Dame
that I ever saw!

I'm still laughing now,
just thinking about it.

Tears rolled down my cheeks.
I held onto the clothes racks for support.
I crossed my legs so I wouldn't pee my pants.
I doubled over in a humor-induced
Funniest Home Video stance,
and the whole time Cindy
was looking at me like
I was losing it.

I know she wanted to laugh.
I know she wanted to join me
and roll on the floor,
guffawing at Erin's camel back.
I could see the giggles
gurgling inside of her
like laughing bumble bees.
But she was too afraid of revenge.

Erin can pack a pretty good punch.
(Even though I knew she would have
laughed at herself
if there had been a better mirror nearby).

(by the grace of God)-
the Mighty Coat Mission was aborted
and we headed home for the day.

I was tired.
My body cried for coffee.
My feet hated me.

But, falling asleep last night,
I thought of the fun we had.

It had been awhile since I
laughed so hard-
since I had cleansed that "old lady"
attitude out of me-
since I had taken pleasure
in the "little moments".

The down side?

Today the
Mighty Coat Mission continues!