Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Camp Revival

It's been three or four years
since I've been camping.

I remember a few years back
when that was the thing
we wished and waited for-
excited for a three day weekend
or great weather
so that we could pack our gear
and head to the woods.

My sister Linda and  her husband Wayne
were usually our camping buddies-
always prepared to make memories
around the campfire
and to share quiet nights
on the moonlit river.

Yet, it didn't take long
before the drudgery of packing
and planning and piling up the gear
became labor extensive
and well....boring.

The ice always melted,
the potato chips got stale,
and we became sick of
hot dogs on a stick.

Our tents smelled like wet socks,
our sleeping bags were hot and uncomfortable,
and our air mattresses occasionally
begged for mercy
and sprang a leak.

But today I may have discovered hope.

New outdoor products
may be enough to shake
Linda and I from our camping lull.

Infusing these gadgets into
our nature-loving weekends
just might bring back the spark
of camping out.

What could be more fun
than this shark sleeping bag?

 Except maybe a good pillow...

And this next one would really be warm and cozy
on a cold night.
But- I don't think I'd wear it during
hunting season.
(Or mating season, either.)

This design would be nice for
those late night trips to the makeshift bathroom.

But, I'd sure hate to have to run real fast
in that garb!

Hot dogs and chips?
That's a thing of the past with Candwiches!

And generic looking tents?
Not with a new tent tee-pee!

But, I have a sneaky suspicion
that there might be a load limit on that one...

Now, check out this example of
ultimate new camping gear:

These bags are called Sexy Hotness.
Yeah- I don't see it either...
But further research brought new light to the name:

" Centrally located middle zippers allow for access to the erogenous zones. The middle zipper allows for easy walking and airing out your nether regions. With the built-in padded slippers, you never have to get out of your sleeping bag for those pesky middle-of-the-night bathroom breaks."

Okaaaaaayyyyy.... Hmmmmmmm....

On second thought,
maybe camping is not such a great idea.
I think I'd rather be all cozy in my own home
in one of these:
That's what I'm talking about!