Monday, May 3, 2010

Wall Street Meets Sesame Street


Originally posted in Porch Ponderings on

Monday, April 6, 2009....




Wall Street met Sesame Street last week
when it was reported that the popular
public television show was cutting jobs
due to the strained economy.

The following is a personal interview
that I conducted behind the scenes
concerning this disappointing announcement...

******************

It is a hot day on Sesame Street, USA,
but I can feel a chill run up my spine
as, one by one, some of TV's best loved characters
gather around the popular street light
to voice their outrage over the cutbacks.

I asked them all how they were
handling the news.

"Me sad", says Cookie Monster,
"Me not know
if me can
find work someplace else.
This my
world.
This my life.
This my home.

Me already can't afford cookies.
How me be Cookie Monster without
cookies?"

Grover gently hugs Cookie Monster in a tearful
display of deep friendship and sympathy.

"I've been waiter- I've been Super Grover-
I live with Mommy-
but I worry, too", he says in his
graveled tone.

It is evident that even Big Bird
feels the stress of possible unemployment
by the unseasonal molting of his once-thick
yellow feathers.
Instead of his usual perky attitude, Big Bird
stays in the back of the group,
occasionally reassuring his teddy bear Radar
that everything will be OK.

"Kermit The Frog here", the long-legged
amphibian speaks up.
"I'll do well, I'm sure.
Everyone is going green nowadays,
so it's easier being green than, let's say,
back in the '70's-

and plus-I now have more time
to look for my Rainbow Connection.

And he breaks out in song:
"Someday we'll find it-
the Rainbow Connection-
The lovers, the dreamers,
and meeeee."


And then:

"I've alvedy put my vesume in at
a
local accounting firm." the Count suddenly
says in his choppy accent.
" I've ven vith Sesame Street for one year,
two year, three year, four year, five year..."


Count Von Count's voice trails off
as Oscar the Grouch pops from his
garbage can, in his typical surly mood,
adding his thoughts to the group.

"No problem." Oscar says, waving a
furry green hand,
" I didn't like it here anyway.
Sesame Street sucks!
Me and
my pet worm Slimy
are gonna hit the road."


The group shuffles uncomfortably, as a
familiar accent continues to break the
odd silence:
" twenty-two year, twenty-three year ,
twenty-four
year ...."

Ernie and Bert look at one another
in despair and encourage the team to
gather for a final Sesame Street song.

"Gloomy day... Can't sweep these clouds away-
On our way
to where we'll face defeat...
Can you tell me what to do- what to do-
after Sesame Street?
What to do after Sesame Street?"

Tears well up in their
furry and feathery eyes
as the counting continues:
"twenty-seven year, twenty-eight year...

The lights go dark on 123 Sesame Street.
The music grows silent.
It's a sad day for us all.

Sesame Street, USA.
Just another victim of America's
grim economy.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Ambushed In The Underarm Deodorant Aisle

Original post appeared in my Finding Thin blog.

Thursday, January 29, 2009...



I've made a new habit to steer clear of dangerous food items when I shop for groceries every week. I've trained myself fairly well to avoid those temptations that lurk around every corner. But what happened yesterday can only be described as an ambush. I was caught off guard- amazed at the gall of some manufacturers. I was visibly shaken that they have chosen to make even a trip down the personal hygiene aisle, a dieters nightmare.

Yeah, I was minding my own business. Pushing the cart. Humming some old Eagles tune. Checking my list to see that I needed body wash, deodorant, shampoo, and toothpaste. Should have been easy, right?

Negative.

What business does Chocolate Pie body wash have amid the soap selections? Or Fruit and Yogurt, Cherry Jubilee, or Lemon Meringue? It's soap, for God's sake! I'm not eating it- I'm washing with it!
I drooled just a bit as I examined the entire array of choices in everything from soap to mouthwash.
Vanilla Sugar Scrub, Honey Almond Body Butter, Tantalizing Tapioca, and Macadamia Body Mousse. There was Pumpkin- scented- Coconut -encrusted- Strawberry- infused body delights that sounded too good to be wasted in the bath. (Unless, of course, your skin absorbed the goodness.)
I weakly wheeled my cart past personal deodorants with names like: Southern Peach, Vanilla Sparkle, Tropical Treat, and Island Cocoa.
Even toothpaste gets in on the ambush with cinnamon, bubblegum, and vanilla mint.

I quickly made my selections, pulling out of the strange hold those bath and body aisles had upon me.

So, last night I took a soaking bath with my Chocolate Cake Body Wash. I was tempted to eat the bubbles, but I wasn't sure of the calorie count. I really did smell good as I got dressed for bed.

"What's that smell?" my husband asked as we lay in the darkness.

"Silky Chocolate wafers?" I teased, "Velvety smooth cocoa mousse?

"No...not that.." he told me, as I realized he was searching for answers."I know what it is, but I can't quite put my finger on it."

"A thin mint? A chocolaty whipped kiss? I suggested, as I wrapped my arms tighter around him.

"No..no...Oh! I've got it!! he exclaimed, practically jumping out of bed,"A Chunky!"

***********

So, my advice to you all is -don't be ambushed. Even those foods or food fragrances you think are marvelous -are bound to disappoint in the long run. Purging, binging, or throwing caution to the wind are simply self-destructive. We must always be cautious- acutely aware that an ambush could be waiting at the next family dinner, night out, or birthday celebration.

Stay clean.
Focused.
Don't be a Chunky.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Next week: Reruns!




I'm taking a week off!
After that A to Z Challenge,
my brain needs a good rest!

I won't be here on Monday to post
my review of the challenge,
so I thought I would go ahead
and post it today.

First of all, I want to thank Arlee Bird
for his vision.
He saw a way -to not only inspire us-
but to unite us.

Sometimes writing can be a lonely
and private process.
Sharing with other bloggers
somehow brings the process
into a wonderful, colorful light.

On days when my post seemed
substandard,
awkward,
or unfinished-
I just read other blogs that
made me laugh,
or cry,
and put it all into perspective.

To me, this wasn't a competition,
or a race,
or a game.
It was a learning experience.
A test.
A lesson that helped us find our true voices.

I want to thank each and everyone of you
for your kind comments.
And I apologize if I did not always visit your blogs
on a timely basis.
I have "met" so many talented people-
made warm friendships,
and found excellent footsteps in which to follow.

I don't want to point out any certain blogs-
in fear of leaving someone out that I care for.
But, you know who you are.

You know you have made an impression
on my heart and in my brain,
and I will be forever thankful that
you have touched me with your words.
Thank you.Thank you. Thank you.

I feel as though I have stretched.
Stepped outside of the box.
Outside of my comfort Zone.
And found a new family.

It's been fun
and frustrating at the same time!

I will be posting some of my
favorites here next week.
Hope you enjoy repeats,
or discover some you haven't read yet.

I'll be back-
hopefully refreshed and ready-
on May 11th.

I love you all!