Friday, October 10, 2008

You Say FRUGAL, I Say FREAKY


In today's world of high prices
and escalating expenses,
I am all for saving a little money
and tightening the budget.

I pump gas with my Kroger card
and usually save 3-10 cents a gallon.
I cut coupons on groceries when I can-
and I take advantage of ad-matching,
two-for-one, and stock-up sales.
When money is tight,
we'll watch TV instead of rent DVD's.
We'll eat leftovers instead of carry out,
and we'll keep the thermostat
a few degrees below comfortable.

All that is just common sense and
hardly takes a second thought
or a spread sheet to figure out.

But, as is everything in this world-
there is an extreme.
These people call themselves frugal,
resourceful, inventive,
and simple.
(Other names that come to mind
are tightwad, penny-pincher,
cheapskate, and stingy.)

For example:
How many of you save the little plastic
sleeves that your newspaper
arrives in on a rainy day?

The frugal freak sees a
multitude of uses for them.

Here's a list of ways to recycle your plastic bags
if you decide to go frugal:

1. Braid the plastic together into an
attractive place mat to adorn your fine dining area.
Be careful, however, not to place hot items
upon the surface
or use them near fire or flame.

2. These make a dandy rain bonnet
when your umbrella is unavailable or inappropriate.
Just stuff a plastic bag into your tote bag
or back pocket, and there's no need to worry
about your hair getting ruined by the wind or rain.
(But remember, do not cover the entire facial area-
this bag is NOT a toy!)

3. Love gardening, but hate the mud and
grass stains you get on your jeans?
Plastic grocery sacks or boutique bags
are a must in these areas.
They are terrific knee protectors!
Simply tie two or three around
your knee area and bend to your hearts delight!
No more worrying about soiled clothing.
(Note: Cheap diapers will serve the same purpose
and provide extra protection-
plus- the Velcro tabs are great for knee adjustment!
However, please do not attempt to apply
previously-used diapers.)

4. Plastic newspaper sleeves make
great work gloves!
Slide a few over your hands whenever
a messing painting project
or a cleaning job threatens your manicure.
Then just slip them off into the
trash receptacle when finished!
Fantastic!
(Personal Note: This is great if
you are used to cleaning house
with mittens on.)

5. Make parachutes for action figures.
(Do you need any further instructions than that?)

6. Carry these nifty plastic bags with you
when walking your dog.
When nature calls, be considerate of
other pedestrians and joggers
by placing the bag over your hand and
scooping up the hot steamy crap.
Roll the bag over the waste material,
tie with a knot,
and discard responsibly.
Thrifty poop scooper!

You know, reusing plastic bags are only one of
a million little things you can do
to save money.
Just think what you could do with
empty egg cartons, greasy pizza boxes,
milk jugs, potato sacks, and toilet paper rolls!

And old aluminum foil makes such
pretty wrapping paper when adorned with
glitter, sparkles, and pieces of ribbon!

Don't get me wrong-
I am all for thrift shop buys,
yard sales, and hand-me-downs.
I try to cut back on sodas and desserts
and movie tickets.

I even save loose change.

I found 38 cents under the
couch cushions just last week!
I also found a half eaten brownie, a Barbie shoe,
two marbles, a Lego, three hair ties,
a paper clip, a used Kleenex, sand (?),
a dog biscuit, a spider, and a Little Debbie muffin.

But, folks, the search was all worth it because
I also found a plastic bag!
Can't wait to throw that beauty
over my head during the next downpour!
Thrifty and Nifty!
And nice!